Decided a few days ago it was time to move on. I've been involved in a relationship going on 17 years now. There have been breaks in this relationship over the years. There was the 3.5+ years I lived out of state - and actually met someone with whom I was in a committed relationship. Then clusters of months here and there when I was "dating". You could call it a relationship of convenience.
Truth be told, I don't even know if I really like him, because our sexual liasons are strictly that. I have a rough sketch of his life, know the name of his wife, his son and daughter. Know that he loves his kids more than anything, and that he probably pushes himself so hard because somewhere under all that hair, he feels guilty for what we have... for the intensity of a sexual mojo which has gotten stronger rather than dimishing over the years.
Today, after gifting me with three truly toe curling orgasms, he says "you sure you don't want to see me after the 1st of the year"? "I never said I didn't want to see you because it WASN'T GOOD". In other words, yes I'm sure. I'll have to plan my time carefully - it is going to be very difficult around those first few full moons! But I have to know if sharing my sexual energy with him plays a factor in my date-less-ness. Or if it's just that I am ment to be alone (though I'm certainly NOT lonely).
What do you think?
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